Since my last post a few weeks ago alot has happened...
But it's late, so contrary to my usual blogger style, I'm just going to leave a reader's digest version of what has been and currently is going on in my life.
My parents separation has been really hard on me, and it has been really hard on my family as well. I found that I couldn't handle everything that I was dealing with emotionally, and not being with my family. So I ended up quitting my job at Hope Mission a few weeks ago so I could move up to Fort McMurray to be with my family. I felt awful about quitting work with zero notice, and while my co-workers were aware of my family situation, I know that they weren't impressed when I left them high and dry. However, I knew that I was in no condition emotionally to work with the youth every day and give 100% to them--especially after I had realized that I didn't want to continue working at Hope Mission in the fall (see last post for more info on that).
When I intially came up to Fort McMurray I had been able to get a really good paying job at Payless Shoes (of all places). But due to some unforseen circumstances (aka. a massive flood in the store), that door has since been closed.
So I'm in Fort McMurray for the rest of the summer. And I don't have a job--but I need to make money in the event I'm in school in the fall. And I'm glad that I'm here with my family, and I'm making an effort to spend time with them and be close to them. But part of me doesn't really want to be here. Fort McMurray doesn't feel like home anymore, especially with my dad not living in our house. Every where I go I bump into people that know about my parents' separation, and I feel like they want me to look really upset about everything and I usually don't. I want to be here and be with my family, but I also know that I need to make sure that I am taking care of my own emotional health. I have a tendancy to overlook myself in that regard, and to escape by focusing on other people's problems. I've only been up here permanently for a few days, and I really, really miss Andrew. Sometimes I wonder if coming up here was a huge mistake.
But I'm up here, and I am trying to do what I came to do: Spend time with my parents and my sister, and work through some of my own emotions.
I guess I'm just feeling discouraged. I feel like I brought some of this on myself, but at the same time I feel like coming up here was the right thing to do, and the only thing to do to deal with the hurt and sadness that this whole situation has made me feel.
So this is the reader's digest version....I guess this blog is really just a call for prayer. I need prayer, my family needs prayer. I will try to post updates on my blog as things unfold over the course of the summer. Thank you to everyone who reads my blog for reading this post and for bringing me before God.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Friday, July 4, 2008
The good ol' summer time
I feel really badly for neglecting this blog for the past few months. But I guess the important thing is that I'm writing something now :)
This summer is almost over (well just half over if you're in university), and it's been pretty good so far. There's too much to write in a blog, so I'll break it down into high points, low points, and neutral things.
High Points (in no particular order)
1. I've been able to go to two weddings so far this summer :) I love going to weddings (mostly to steal really neat ideas for when I get married), and the Allan-Carla and Dustin-Alicia weddings were wonderful affairs. Congratulations to them both once again :)
2. I've been able to reconnect with friends as they migrate to Edmonton. My close friends Amy and Chris are both moving down to Edmonton this summer, and I've been able to spend more time with them over this past summer than I have all year :) It feels great to have reconnected with them, and I'm very excited that they'll both be living down here (separately) come September.
3. My trip to Bahamas with my dad :) My trip to Bahamas was especially meaningful to me because I was able to spend some 1-on-1 time with my dad, and also because I was able to see almost all of my family on my dad's side :) We were able to spend alot of time catching up and reminiscing, and I even got to go swimming with sharks! An unexpected surprise was the way that my cousin Afiba and I bonded over the course of the week :) We're now good friends, and he will be coming up from Florida to visit me next week :)
Low Points
1. My parents officially separated just before Father's Day in June. I understand why they need to be separate, and I support them in doing what they need to do for themselves, but it really hurts.
2. Andrew's work schedule has been crazy since May, and has also been a low point of the summer. It's hard to see each other sometimes, and when he's free I'm not the only person who wants his time and attention. However, his crazy work schedule could be seen as a positive because it has caused us to work harder at communicating with one another.
3. Waiting to find out if I'm going to be in law school in the fall. Enough said.
Neutral Points
The only neutral point of this summer has been my job. There have been weeks that I have wanted to walk out and quit, and other weeks that I have left work genuinely satisfied and excited with what God is doing in our youth. At this point I don't know if I will continue to work at the HMYS if I am not accepted into law school in the fall, which makes it difficult to come into work some days. But despite how I feel, I'm trusting that God has a reason for me being there this summer, and I want to be faithful to where he's placed me for the time being.
This summer is almost over (well just half over if you're in university), and it's been pretty good so far. There's too much to write in a blog, so I'll break it down into high points, low points, and neutral things.
High Points (in no particular order)
1. I've been able to go to two weddings so far this summer :) I love going to weddings (mostly to steal really neat ideas for when I get married), and the Allan-Carla and Dustin-Alicia weddings were wonderful affairs. Congratulations to them both once again :)
2. I've been able to reconnect with friends as they migrate to Edmonton. My close friends Amy and Chris are both moving down to Edmonton this summer, and I've been able to spend more time with them over this past summer than I have all year :) It feels great to have reconnected with them, and I'm very excited that they'll both be living down here (separately) come September.
3. My trip to Bahamas with my dad :) My trip to Bahamas was especially meaningful to me because I was able to spend some 1-on-1 time with my dad, and also because I was able to see almost all of my family on my dad's side :) We were able to spend alot of time catching up and reminiscing, and I even got to go swimming with sharks! An unexpected surprise was the way that my cousin Afiba and I bonded over the course of the week :) We're now good friends, and he will be coming up from Florida to visit me next week :)
Low Points
1. My parents officially separated just before Father's Day in June. I understand why they need to be separate, and I support them in doing what they need to do for themselves, but it really hurts.
2. Andrew's work schedule has been crazy since May, and has also been a low point of the summer. It's hard to see each other sometimes, and when he's free I'm not the only person who wants his time and attention. However, his crazy work schedule could be seen as a positive because it has caused us to work harder at communicating with one another.
3. Waiting to find out if I'm going to be in law school in the fall. Enough said.
Neutral Points
The only neutral point of this summer has been my job. There have been weeks that I have wanted to walk out and quit, and other weeks that I have left work genuinely satisfied and excited with what God is doing in our youth. At this point I don't know if I will continue to work at the HMYS if I am not accepted into law school in the fall, which makes it difficult to come into work some days. But despite how I feel, I'm trusting that God has a reason for me being there this summer, and I want to be faithful to where he's placed me for the time being.
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