Home Sweet Home?

Since my last post a few weeks ago alot has happened...

But it's late, so contrary to my usual blogger style, I'm just going to leave a reader's digest version of what has been and currently is going on in my life.

My parents separation has been really hard on me, and it has been really hard on my family as well. I found that I couldn't handle everything that I was dealing with emotionally, and not being with my family. So I ended up quitting my job at Hope Mission a few weeks ago so I could move up to Fort McMurray to be with my family. I felt awful about quitting work with zero notice, and while my co-workers were aware of my family situation, I know that they weren't impressed when I left them high and dry. However, I knew that I was in no condition emotionally to work with the youth every day and give 100% to them--especially after I had realized that I didn't want to continue working at Hope Mission in the fall (see last post for more info on that).

When I intially came up to Fort McMurray I had been able to get a really good paying job at Payless Shoes (of all places). But due to some unforseen circumstances (aka. a massive flood in the store), that door has since been closed.

So I'm in Fort McMurray for the rest of the summer. And I don't have a job--but I need to make money in the event I'm in school in the fall. And I'm glad that I'm here with my family, and I'm making an effort to spend time with them and be close to them. But part of me doesn't really want to be here. Fort McMurray doesn't feel like home anymore, especially with my dad not living in our house. Every where I go I bump into people that know about my parents' separation, and I feel like they want me to look really upset about everything and I usually don't. I want to be here and be with my family, but I also know that I need to make sure that I am taking care of my own emotional health. I have a tendancy to overlook myself in that regard, and to escape by focusing on other people's problems. I've only been up here permanently for a few days, and I really, really miss Andrew. Sometimes I wonder if coming up here was a huge mistake.

But I'm up here, and I am trying to do what I came to do: Spend time with my parents and my sister, and work through some of my own emotions.

I guess I'm just feeling discouraged. I feel like I brought some of this on myself, but at the same time I feel like coming up here was the right thing to do, and the only thing to do to deal with the hurt and sadness that this whole situation has made me feel.

So this is the reader's digest version....I guess this blog is really just a call for prayer. I need prayer, my family needs prayer. I will try to post updates on my blog as things unfold over the course of the summer. Thank you to everyone who reads my blog for reading this post and for bringing me before God.